Monday, December 19, 2011

The Giggly Giggles.

So Saturday night Josh and I are at my parents house about to leave. So we gather to say a quick family prayer before we take off. Adam had been watching a clip from Mulan 2 and had been giggling the whooole night. (Like he was laughing pretty hard.) So during the prayer I hear Adam start to chortle and snort and giggle out loud. So I totally open my eyes to watch. (Sshh... Don't tell) Then he says to himself. "Oh. Ah! Oopps!...sorry." and then stops and is quiet. Then it was me that had the hard time not laughing....All the while Dad is trying to finish the prayer.

I now bring you The Adam Chronicles.

So. I have a Brother named Adam. He is my Only brother. He is pretty Epic I gotta say. He is Autistic and is the only boy in a family of 6 and 1 of 2 Autistic siblings. I have written a little about him and my encounters and adventures with him. He is one of the sweetest and loving people I know. Adam has the ability to make me smile and contemplate my path in life all in one moment. He is silly, caring, warm and engaging . The way it is with people and Adam is either they totally accept Adam and his abilities and personality flaws or lack there of.
Or... they don't..... They can't adjust to his disabilities and only see him as such. It really is Black and White like that. They all filter themselves out that way and I only see the results. Through him I get to see people as they truly are and I get to see the world differently.

So...that being said. I introduce to you "The Adam Chronicles." I'm going to share and keep record of my experiences with him. Adam doesn't really know I'm doing this. Not that its a secret. It's just that he likes Facebook and You tube and Everyone's Favorite couple can't really compete. Unfortunately. But we still try.


So today we went over for a Sunday visit and Adam wanted a clean up on his hair cut. But as you might have read on a past post about Adam the clippers my mom used to have....didn't really cut it..(haha see what I did there?) So I just used hair scissors for the whole thing. And I told him "Get your garbage dress hon." and he couldn't find it. So he asked me to help him make a new one and I did.

As well as took pictahs!!

 Before just a plain garbage bag.
 I tried to get him to make a questionable face. Like a "I'm not to sure about this?" Type look but it didn't work out to well.



 You can't really see it but there is only a slight cut for his head and arms. It's a lot different than the one he made. I'm not as fun as he is. It's ok. I know it. The next one is of him trying to squeeze through again. I guess he has a bigger noggin that I thought because I was sure to make a good size hole....

Ah success he squeezed through ok.

Before this I had Adam stick his head under the faucet to get his hair wet and so I just turn it on and head out to find the scissors next thing I hear is Adam making these noises so I go back into the bathroom to see what's up and the water he has his head in is Antartica temperature and he is making this hooting sound and brrr noises. "Ohmygosh Adam I'm so sorry." I turn on the warm side and say. "let it heat up a little." Because that sink takes a while to get even warmish. So after a while I come back again and Adams saying "Ahhh. Ohh AHH!"  and he's still in the same position. Hunched over the sink. I stick my hand in the water and now its hot like lava. So I try to mix the two and its either Ice Tundra or Nuclear Reactor. So I try to use my hand to quickly get his head warm and hair wet. Poor kid. Nothing goes right when we try to cut his hair.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Big news for the Fleshmans.

We're Moving  or well...that is... Josh is moving...I'm staying here. :/


To Arizona! 


Josh got into a school down there and he reports for orientation Jan 15th!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Everybody poops....Especially on Thanksgivng...

So when ever I think of Josh and I's first Thanksgiving as Man and Wife I think of this story.
Which is funny because Josh says it didn't happen on Thanksgiving. I could have sworn it was on Thanksgiving tho. Because Jeff and Samantha weren't there and they spent their first Thanksgiving with his family and then spent Christmas with us and Maria and Jared Spent Christmas in Utah and Thanksgiving with us. Josh says no that it happen after Jeff and Sammy's Boise Reception and that's why they weren't there. I've always told it as a Thanksgiving story and Josh always tries to correct me but this be hows I tells it.


So Adam my beloved brother with Autism is very blunt. And doesn't always get kidding around and joking. He especially has a hard time taking a joke aimed in his honor. Especially from certain people. My brother in law Jared is one. Adam having grown up with all girls is not used to the way boys play around with each other. And Jared is a total dude. Get what I'm saying?


Another thing about Adam is his... um... potty breaks?
They are long or frequent and a lot of times both. A good amount of the time emergent as well. Any time we go out to eat it's never a surprise to see a suddenly dropped plate spinning in front of the seat Adam had been sitting in.

It's common for a lot of individuals with Autism to have Gastro Intestinal tract issues.



I call them Potty Problems.





Adam has this.





And he was having this... the night Jared and Josh where going out to bring things in from the car at my moms house. The main floor bathroom is right next to the side entrance door and is the busiest bathroom in the place. Adam had been its main occupant for a wee bit this night and when he came out. Jokester Jared says."Geeez Adam you stink!" (a phrase Adam himself has offendedly said many times to dad, the dog, barking spiders.)

But Adam was absolutely MORTIFIED.
He couldn't say anything.
He could only offer up embarrassed and offended noises of indignation.
He then went straight to Maria for words of comfort (and probably to tell on Jared.)
Maria then says to Adam. "Oh Adam tell Jared every body poops."
Adam then pushes Josh out of his path while hoofing it to the side door Jared had just exited out of. Wild West kicks it open and screams at the top of his lungs out in to our quiet neighborhood culdesac.
"EeeVEERY BODY POOPS! JAAAAARRRREEEED!!!!!!"




...

........ then quietly comes back inside. Walks up the stairs to his room. Shuts his door. Starts watching a movie.

Having totally had permission from Maria and even been given the words to say. There wasn't really anything anyone could say to him. Plus it was absolutely hysterical.
We still laugh when Jared tells the story from the outside of the house. Suddenly hearing Adam kick open the door and giving him a piece of his mind and then hearing it echo down our street. I can't imagine what the neighbors thought when we moved in. It was a neighborhood containing mostly retired piano teachers and an elderly swimming instructor and 1 family with 2 quiet well behaved children. Oh goodness. I wonder what they think the story is behind Adams outburst.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Mind. Blown.

Josh just told me. In a casual manner. That he has only seen a "few" episodes of Star Trek...(?).. .none of the movies either.........and I just don't know what to do.
......how can I even begin to explain.
There is to much....
...it feels so wrong...
This is bigger than me. For I am only one (Wo)man.

With any epic story. It must start at the beginning.

He even said Star War Trek! To my very own face you guys!!! Like he doesn't even know the difference!!!
I covenanted with him to watch all the movies TOGETHER as a family from the start. I told him he didn't have to watch the series. (But I want to!) because it may actually take us years as it is. But he said he would. (Whew!)

I remember watching the original Star trek reruns on Sunday nights at my Grandma Nada's house. and it killed when dad said we had to leave before the episode was over. Tantrum worthy even. I am actually really excited to be able to do this together.
We are totally Embarking on an Epic Journey and I am Joshes guide.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Our new baby


Joshes sister gave him an awesome birthday present! And WE LOVE HER!

Someone once said. "Babies are very healing." There is something about being depended on by something soo precious and innocent. It takes you beyond yourself and helps you let the unimportant things align back to were they belong. For me I never thought it'd be so furry and poop in a box......(Did I tell you?? SHE POOPS IN A BOX!!!) It's so cute!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.........me?


!!!!!
It's Ma Birthday Today!

Josh and I share a Birthday month! We have reservations at a fancy restaurant and I got someone to trade me at work! So excited!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

My dear brother Adam.

 I haven't really talked about my brother yet. He is one of the greatest things in my life. I have scores of stories about him. I need to be better about sharing them and writing them all down. I promise to be better.

Some of you already know Adam and If you've ever heard an Adam story you know that to really get them sometimes you just have to know Adam. He's a real treat. Adam has high functioning Autism (which is different from Aspergers.) he is the only boy out of 6 children. He sits at #4 in the ranking order. He has a funny loving and caring personality. He loves movies. Especially Disney movies and musicals. He loves to be goofy and to joke around with his friends and family. He can also be very literal. He likes to gives hugs and Is very social compared to other autistic individuals. He is very forgiving and has a tender heart.

I found some basic info on Autism that I felt was applicable to Adam that I've shared below.

In general, people with High Functioning Autism tend to make fairly frequent social mistakes because of and involving their inability to accurately predict someone else's thoughts, feelings or reactions to something, in the same ways as the non autistic person. They may also forget to use many of the basic social pleasantries (e.g. forgetting to knock before entering a room; or when greeted with "how are you?" they may not reciprocate by following on to ask how the other person is).
Another problem they face would be their naive understanding of social interaction may cause them to be overly trusting of all people and thus, more vulnerable to being manipulated by others. They may then be considered as lacking "common sense".
The autistic person may appear somewhat removed or disconnected at times, especially when placed in situations where they experience sensory overload, or when they are placed in settings of extreme social pressure, such as during a party, or in a crowded bar. Additionally, they may make only limited levels of eye contact, even during one-on-one encounters, which can then lead to them being labelled as being "shy". (Adam is very social. But on occasion he can be very removed and seclude himself.)
People with High Functioning Autism normally will like routine and order.  These traits may be seen as early as childhood (e.g.: as a child organizing movies in a certain order). They may also limit their daily choice of clothing to only a select few choices. (Royal Blue shirt anyone?)
When a person with High Functioning Autism is interested in a particular task or subject area, they will often work on it intently. If uninterested or they lose interest for some reason, they may just ignore the task all together, or maybe try to change it to reflect one of their personal interests, or perhaps only do the "bare minimum" required to complete the task. With High Functioning Autism, the preferred method of working may be to produce a complete rough structure, or draft first, and then to focus intently on taking it through many incremental revisions until the task is completed.

So here is our story.

Sunday September 4th was Joshes Birthday and the 8th was my neices and on Monday my family all went out to eat at Golden Corral. (Joshes fave.) In their honor. Adam is very perticular about his hair. (I should have known this him growing up with all girls and all.) With him being the only boy its hard to remmember that boys get frequent hair cuts. He likes it short on the sides and a little longer in front and on top so he can spike it up to make a "Fender" Like his buddy. So I would either take him to a lady and get it done or I would do it myself. And Adam has come into the habit of saying to me. "Is it maybe time for a hair cut maybe?" Which translates to. "haircut please." So after we get back from eating he asked about it. I told him I didn't have my clippers with me. But he said he thought he had some so he digs them out and I put the guide on and start to shave away. (It had grown really long.)
 Well I noticed that it wasn't cutting very well so I turn them off and re-attach the guide and try again. Then out of the corner of my eye I see Adam making this face in the mirror like a sour/silent bitter beer face scream while  I run the clippers through his hair.



So I'm like "Adam! Does it hurt?!?"  he says " yeah... kinda." So I say "Well you gotta tell me honey. " Good thing I saw his face. Else he would have had a super painful hair cut. So I grease it up and start slower and he makes the one eyed sour/silent scream face again. So I look closer at the clippers and see they are just vibrating and making noise but the clipper teeth arn't moving back and forth which actually cuts the hair. So I tell him. "Bud I'm sorry they aren't working." So he says "Maybe we could borrow Rachel's clippers?" in a panicky please please please voice. So I ask my sister Rachel about borrowing her clippers. She consented but before we left to go get them I ask Adam "Do you want to wear a trash bag so you don't get all itchy during the hair cut?" he says "Oh yes!" So I get him one and tell him "Go cut a hole for your head to fit through" Because I distinctly remember him trying to pop through the bottom of a garbage bag and it ending up in a battle of wills and the picture of poor Adams squeezed stretched out face finally breaking through the bottom of the bag will never leave my memory. So I distinctly tell him. Cut a hole for head and arms. So he goes and does just exactly as I ask and brings me this.




Adam takes a lot of his social cues from trying to read faces and he will study yours and if he doesn't understand it. It makes him nervous. Adam can be insecure at times and he worries when he might have got something wrong. So he brings me this...garbage dress? Apron? Jumper thing and he's like. See! holes. Head and Arm holes. Just like you said. I'm a good boy. So when he saw the look on my face....he got confused as well. All I could say was "....oh....well....okay....it won't keep out much hair.....is that okay?" So then he was like. "uh.... oh.... uh..." so I told him "well we can make another one or you can wear this?" He quickly said. "This one." (Like Ummm duh! I tots love this one! kinda voice) I told him okay.... Go show mom first though. Mom and Rachel had the same reaction I did. "Oh....Okay...Your cutting his hair here inside right?...well okay....looks good."
 My mom is a seamstress and has made many dresses for us though out the years. So Adam I'm sure has seen patterns around the house. So maybe that's along the lines he was thinking. It really was cut so well and precise and fit his arms, brought out the color of his eye's........ It gave me such a hardy laugh. I Enjoy Adam so much.

XOXO ~Nan~

Sunday, September 4, 2011

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY EVER SWEETTTY!!

It's Joshes Birthday today! He turned a whopping 24 years old. SO excited. He's catching up with me. (Kinda?) Only if I in turn didn't age along with him. Hmmmm..... I remember I was so scared when I was falling in love with a him. (a younger man.) Because I feel so old and tired and always like no one would want me. I thought who would wanna hold hands with grandma wifey all day? ( I need to add here though that If I could now. I would absolutley hold hands with either of my Grandma's. All day in fact.) But I wouldn't be married to her. So it's different.

But today sweety I am so glad age doesn't bother you. And only slightly startles others.
You are my world you are my everything you are my strength. My best friend and the only one to get me. Words can't describe the joy in my heart when I see your face. Or when I make you smile. I'm so glad we get to be Mommy and Dadddy to 2 beautiful kitties. I'm so lucky you are wanting and willing to take care of all of us, I am so Thankful for you and your Wonderful family. I've loved every moment we've shared together. I love that you love my family. And I'm really glad you love me to.

I Love You Darling. Happy Birthday.



XOXO Grandma Wifey


p.s. I'm really sorry about the shirt with no sleeve buttons. I will do better next year. Promise.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

A little perspective...

In case your in need of help picking your battles. Or you really hate towels. Either way a really good read.
There are quite possibly some naughty words... So be warned.

http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

A thought...

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen

This is how I feel about shoes.

I'm glad someone else feels this way. About shoes and being a woman and everything else she said.
To say the least I concur.
http://thebloggess.com/2010/05/the-traveling-red-dress/


I also like this one.

http://thebloggess.com/2010/08/red-dress-revisited/

Friday, August 26, 2011

How the I love you's came about...

I promised this story a while back. It's of course... about Josh and I. It's very special to me and I hope the wonderfulness of this story translates well to our blog readers.

To better understand the time line and my way of thinking and my reaction. I need to quickly explain some things.
 I left an abusive marriage on June 12th 2008 (We don't blog about him)
 On my sister's birthday oddly enough. I then went through this period of my life where I put every thing I had into feeling exactly the opposite of the way I felt during that time.
 Those feelings were:


  • Ugly
  • Stupid
  • Unwanted
  • Weak
  • Unlovable


So I had a coupon from my work for a hair cut and color at a salon in town. So I went and bore my heart out to my stylist, made a good friend and came out blonde and with bangs. (No one recognized me after she was done. NO ONE. lol, Which is what I wanted really.) To this day I still adore her.
Then I went out and bought makeup. I made it a competition actually. Relatively unknown in Olympic circles unfortunately as I would have had a definite win. I went and replaced the drab "High school left overs" / "What he wanted me to be's" hanging in my closet. With cute shirts and jeans and dresses. (and SHOES!!)
I then went out and made a thousand friends. Shopping friends, Work friends, Church friends, Wednesday friends, Friday friends, Whatever friends, Whenever friends. More to prove a point to myself then too .....have friends.
Then I got tough. I got callused and I hid a lot of feelings. I acted like things didn't bother me when they did and acted nonchalant about everything. To quote an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I played it cucumber. As in cool as a...

Mostly because I refused to be taken advantage of again. No one was ever going to make me feel the way I felt. I was never going to feel Used, Ugly, Stupid or taken advantage of ever again. No one was ever getting that close again to even be able to try to. Ever again.


....then I met Josh....

...and It was really hard......

.....you've probably never heard anyone say it was hard to fall in love.....but it was for me....
not because of him or anything he did. Just because of what I had gone through and the damage I have.

So after all that. Here's our first "I Love You."


I had just worked a six hour shift at my job. So I bought us lunch and met Josh in the parking lot in front of our building. For a car picnic. :)
You know sometimes how you have conversations in your head? Where your both sides of the of the conversation? And it just runs on about things. I was on my 2nd week of exactly that and it was just getting louder. It was more like The Defense and The Prosecution. Then the Judge and Jury all in there talking and bantering. It was going something like this.

Brain: You like him.
Me: What?! No.
Brain: Oh Yeah. You do.
Me: No way.
Brain: Oh yeah. You like him. ALOT.
Me: mmmm no.
Brain: Oh yeah. You tots wanna have his curly haired children
Me: Who?
Brain: Oh. You know who.
Me: I don't Josh what your talking about.
Brain: AHAH!
Defense: Objection your honor!
Judge: Sustained.
Me: uhh. no.
Brain: C'mon.
Me: Nope. Not possible.
Prosecution: Why is that?
Me: Because he doesn't even think about me like that.
Jury: What about the text he sent you. Saying he liked you?
Prosecution: What about when he blushes when you walk by?
Judge: Yeah I've seen that to.
Me: Watch it Judge!
Brain: What about that one friend that he told that he wanted to ask you out?
Me: Which time?
Brain: HA! See!
Me:....
Defense: Objection!
Jury: You wanna marry him, and have him some babies, and take his last name, and bake him cake, and kiss his face!!!! I knew it!
Me: That's crazy talk.
Brain: It's so true. She totally thinks about it.
Me: BRAIN!
Me: Why would I ever be that stupid again? So like I love him? What's that? Like who does that?
Brain: Um "who does that?" like...besides everybody?
Me: No... I don't believe in "Love" Men are dogs and once you're in a relationship. They lie or cheat or hurt you and then try to change you. Or get tired of you. Or use and abuse you. For some reason, no one wants me.  I only date for free food. You. know that! WE. know that!  No one puts baby in the corner! Remember??
Brain: ok. so maybe it used to be like that. but what if it's different this time?
Me: Like what's "Different" He's a boy. I'm a girl. We like each other. What's the difference? They all start this way. They all end that way.
Judge: So you like him.
Me: ....I like him....
Prosecution: A lot?
Me: .....ALOT....
Defense:...ummm...
Me:...crap...
Brain:...You love him...Alot...
Me: i love him a lot
Brain: ...and...
Me: ...I wanna marry him...
Defense: badgering of the witness your honor!!!


And on it would go....and go. But through all that I'm trying to keep a lid on it and stay cucumber and nonchalant. So it had been a bad day. I bring him his lunch. We eat and have a great time. Then he says. "Well I better head back."
So I'm like " K. Bye! I love you"....
and he stops dead in his tracks.....
like he was leaning towards the door, about to lift his butt off the seat to stand up and get out.
and he looks at me with his beautiful soulful brown eyes....
and leans back in.
and I panic....because I have just blown my cover...
So I start to blabber...
...And go into DefCon 1 mode and a full retreat at the same time. So I start to apologize. I say
 "I mean haha sorry hah. That slipped off....uh.. out. Haha. I don't want to weird things up. Hah. that wasn't what I meant. Haha.ya know... mess them up... haha "
 (I try to open my door.)
 "haah..."
(it's locked.)
" haha..."
(..but that doesn't register..)
"...um hahha...uh...
 (I still keep trying to open it anyway.)
 "..between us. haha."
(and I'm in the driver's seat)
" haaa..."
(and it's my own car, I'm trying to leave)
So to recap: I have just dropped the L-bomb on the boy I have been kinda obsessing over for the last 2 weeks. Not just obsessing over him. Obsessing over Marrying him AND spending our lives together. The boy I haven't kissed or told anyone my feelings for yet. Because I was scared. Scared to love him. Scared to share him. Scared to make it real. Scared to be vulnerable again. Scared that now that I have realized all this. Something had to happen. Something had to change, it was going to change, a conversation had to happen now and I was afraid of it hurting. Hurting so much. Oh. And now after I have dropped said "Love you. Need you. Want to Husband you." Nuclear Bunker Buster on/all over him. I am now viciously trying to exit the vehicle. MY vehicle, that I'm driving, that I drove up in. Furiously trying to work that handle. Trying to get out. Like I owe him money. Like there is a dead body in the trunk. Like we are at the mall and he is trying to sell me lotion or get me to take a survey at a kiosk.

               So then I look back at him and his eyes have gone from me to my hand on the handle.
Then I say. "You don't have to say it back" (but I wanted him to) I look at him and he is looking at my hand still viciously trying to work the door lock.
        And then I stop completely...all systems fail. I admit defeat and all I can squeak out is a small. "...sorry ....I know things change when people say that. And I don't want to weird you out or anything."....
 and I turn away. Trying to prepare for the letdown, the break up awkward non-committal talk that he will surely give me.
          Then Josh says.
                                   "I love you too....And everything's going to be okay."

 ...and I believe him.

 He then reaches out to me and wraps his arms around me and holds me and I feel still and safe. I feel a relief wash over me. Then I break down. I cry. I cry hard right into his chest. Because all I've ever wanted is for someone to love me. I cry uncontrollable sobs on his uniform, an ugly deep, emotional cry. With snot and slobber and all sorts of mascara and hair stuck to the sides of my face with tears. And he just holds me. And we just sit for a while until I can stop crying. I'm about to try to break the ice by saying something funny. (Like I do) something like. "Heey Sorry about all that crazy that just spilled all over...wahaha" Or something else lame.  Then he says to me.

 "Do you ever think about getting married?"
I say. "Uhm...Yeah....a lot actually. ...today even."
Then somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a gavel and a judge say.
"Case Dismissed!!"

I wanted to share this

http://katespencer.tumblr.com/post/6333456608/today-a-man-touched-me-on-the-subway-and-so-i-hit-him

When I come across something that perfectly words feelings I have felt. I always want to share it. It's something so universally known and experienced by women. The only thing that can stop it completely from ever happening to begin with is where it starts....men.
This isn't for any one to comment on or to start any debates or conversations. It's only for me.
~Nan

Thursday, August 4, 2011

...Sleeping....

So yesterday was my pill day... In all reality everyday is a pill day for me. Which has been really the hardest thing  surprisingly. It hasn't been any of the pain or the limitations or the bad news all the time. In ways we've dealt with all that and still do. But it's those DANG PILLS! Remembering what to take and what not to take and when to take and when not to take and this doctor and that doctor and appointments and shots and IV's and UGH! So I have to take these pills one day every week. I've been upped to 8 pills every Tuesday....and they make me soooooo sick. Sometimes it is worse than others. Sometimes I'm barley bothered at all. But yesterday, pill day kicked me in the teeth, shoved me in the gutter and stole my wallet. It's hard to know what will set me off. Yesterday it was holding still. So weird. So at work it really worked out because it wasn't my day at the desk so I wasn't ever in a still position. Until I re-leaved the gal at the desk. Then oh man was it bad. I felt ship wrecked. So after work when I'm trying to sleep (and there fore holding still...) I got incredibly sick. So I requested and oncall day and was up until 3 o'clock hoping and praying and wishing....Which goes against all that I believe in because I believe that the more you want/need/pray for an oncall day. The less likely you are to get it. This theory has been proven many times. So I get the blessed call and Coma out until 3:45 this morning. When I wake up and realize Ive slept on Joshes side of the bed. (Yeah... we have sides) and I slept really good. So I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come back into the room I catch Josh moving over to his side of the bed. LOL! So I say "did you miss your side?" he nods.  Then tells me he "didn't sleep very well." I say "I did! Your side is comfortable!" He then says. "I tried to move you when you were sleeping but I didn't wanna break your arm or anything." LOL. I'm thinking "well thanks." I then tell him I might steal his side of the bed from him. He then pretends to cry. Because I not only woke him up to early that day but I stole his sleepin spot. I am now feeling way better and the sickness is over for now until next tuesday.
Hope you all have a good weekend!
~ Love the Fleshmans~

Monday, July 18, 2011

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how your going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going your break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
- Marilyn Monroe

Sunday, July 17, 2011

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
- Marilyn Monroe

Friday, July 15, 2011

Not really as fun as it looks....not at all.


Every 2 weeks I have to go get an IV and sit reeaaallllly still for 45 minutes. It hurts so bad. I never thought they would hurts so bad. Especially the more you have to have them.

It's laughing at me.

Brownies I bought at Albertsons. It looks like the Brownie version of cookie monster.
He's so mean.....and tasty...

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Funny story




The picture at the top of this post of me and Josh was taken in front of the house my dad grew up in. Located in Hyde Park. We had no idea and it was purely an accident. A pretty cool one at that.

Friday, May 6, 2011

They say they're good for you. Bah!

It's a toe.
A carrot toe...
I found it in a bag of vegi's destined for a ranch bath. I was about to dunk it when I stopped, looked and realized...
I ALMOST ATE A TOE!
A NASTY toe at that. LOOK at it! It has toe nail hair or what ever it is! It's way nasty!
Whatever Vegi man it belonged to needed a hygiene intervention. Carrot toe is now
chillin in a zipploc in my fridge.
Because it's like a car accident and I can't stop looking and showing people. I'll have to
post more pics cause this pic doesn't show just how toe like it really is.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Who's got 2 thumbs and loooves you guys??

THE FLESHMANS!!!!! Happy Easter Every one.


 (On a side note doesn't Josh look  like he's screaming out in pain? lol)
It took us 3 times to get a good pic that had at least 2 thumbs in it, and Josh was like "Baby!! I have homework!" because I kept saying. "Okay last one."

Friday, April 22, 2011

Sooo....

As I was in a car full of awesome laughing ladies recently. I recanted the hilarious story of the first time I told Josh I loved him. Wait..reread that...what?  Yea it's true. I told Josh I loved him first. In a car. After work. haha. So I realized I needed to compress it all in to a post for all of you to enjoy as well. So consider your self warned!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Penny Lane Our furry baby from another's womb

Brand new baby
 All asleep n stuff! Ohh!

 She like to sleep in our sink
 And joshes drawers
And the bowl I was going to puke in. (!!!Bra alert whoops! Josh never puts his clothes away.)
So we saw this kitty when we were at PetSmart one day. Getting treats for my dog lucy. She had one orange leg and that made her far more awesome than any other regular kitten inside a glass box. (It is a pretty awesome leg I will admit.) It's attached to a pretty awesome kitten to as well. Well josh loves cats. Dogs to but cats he loves. (I think its cause he likes to snuggle lots, but he won't let me say that.) and we talked about this cat for lots after we left. He was always asking me if I would go get her. I would say things like "What? Your crazy! A cat?" Then he would say. "oh ok" all sad and stuff which would break my widdle heart. So for his birthday I went and bought him a little orange legged putty tat and put her in the bathroom and acted like I knew nothing trying to pretend I was a sleep. So he walked in to the bedroom and heard a little meow and he was like "Was that a cat? " so I say. "What? No. That's crazy." so then he believes me and starts taking his shoes off! I was like oh crap! He'll never find her! then she meowed again thank goodness! and he ran to the bathroom and found his new baby birthday present. She is so precious to us. (and Crazy!) and is so pretty! We love her lots!

Monday, March 28, 2011

How we got started......Skittles

Your prolly wondering how a delicious treat like Skittles has any thing to do with us and how we got started. Its more of a connection that we made over them...and a movie.
A movie that I went to go see with a group of friends at Edwards while Josh was at work. And right when it started getting good.....out the power went. So we got refunds and planned to go again and re-see it all together. Well I had to work so the group went with out me. So Josh took me to see it. (ya know the whole thing...all at once.) and there was this part where this man has his bag taken and then stomped on. And he screams "Hey! There are skittles in there!" And we laughed so hard and we quoted the movie over and over. 
So then when I ever I saw skittles I thought of Josh and our movie date. So I would send him skittle pictures from my phone and say. "Hey there are Skittles in there!" in the message. Just to make him laugh. Every one else got tired of it. But it was our joke.
So one day I'm actually eating skittles and I get a mishapen one. So I take a picture and send it to Josh saying its the Skittle son the skittle family doesn't want to talk about. 
And that's part of how our friendship grew. And eventually grew into Love. I think anyway. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

How we started...

So this looks weird.
But true to the post title. This is how we started.
 Not how we met though.
 It was a disco ball that you hung from the rear view mirror for your car. Just a decoration that I had bought. Because I thought it was cute and funny and eye catching and all the things I ever wanted to be. It was all that and it didn't need any help doing it. So I bought it, I hung it and it broke. And then it rolled around on the car floor for a while. Until it got stuck under neath the gas pedal one day after I pulled in to the driveway at Joshes house for the first time. So I grabbed it and held it out. Just like the picture above. And Josh said.
 "What is it?"
 And I didn't know what to say it was. Because it had changed from what it had been. So I just said.
"A ball."
 And well... Who could argue with that? So then of course he was just like.
..."oh."
 Then he asked.
"What do you do with it?"
 So then right there I made up a game where you hold the ball in your palm. Let it roll down your arm and when it got to the crook of your elbow you snapped your elbow straight and it popped the ball in the air. If you could do all that and catch it. You won. So I say this is how we started. Because I found myself in a place where I saw a human being that I cared for. Sitting next to me. And I was petrified. So it was easy to look down and focus on the "Game" And mask my awkwardness with awesomeness... at disco ball popping. I was better than him for a while. It was prolly because I was so worried about nerding out. I had so much pain to hide that I knew I was eventually going to share with him. Which was scary and posed an almost unbearable gamble for me being open to rejection. Which just the thought of was already hurting. It was a nice activity to take my mind off my thoughts in my head. I was able to open up and get to know him. Laugh and joke around and try to sabotage his turn with the disco ball. We would play and talk for hours and just be with each other before there were ever any dates or parents to meet or before there was even an "us". And we were slowly able to grow to know each other and to become best friends. And that's how we got started. I think anyways. ;)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Our 1st Valentines Date as a Married Couple.

February 14th 2011 was our first Valentines Day as a married couple and as our 1st Valentines Date it was special to us. So we wanted to go to our favorite restaurant. Texas Roadhouse.(!!!) We called ahead for a time and thank goodness we did because even with call ahead it was an hour and 50 minutes wait. So we arrive. We follow the waitress. We sit down. (All pretty normal so far? Keep reading.) So then Josh excuses himself to use the restroom... The next thing I know. I see Josh come around the corner. Almost knocking down a waitress and he has this kid in a candy store look on his face. So of course I'm intrigued.  And he says the word... Baby. It's not really the word it self. It's the WAY it is said. It's been a key word in our marriage that goes beyond endearment for us. It's at times said in a way that signals to us. Pay attention cause you BIGTIME wanna hear this. Or look look look! (This applies mostly to Penny. Or the occasional outfit publicly gone bad) But in a more covert fashion. It's a loaded word. Said in a loaded way. Like a delicious potato.  Now. That being said. Josh says THAT word in THAT way. So like I said. I'm intrigued. I think to myself... he just went to the bathroom... right?

If only i had baby... if only i had. 


My bladder is full to bursting so as politely as i can i say excuse me and hurry to the restroom.  Upon entering i notice nobody standing at the urinal so i shuffle in and handle my business.  As im finishing up a father comes in with his little girl.  She looks to be about 5 or 6 years old and she is potty dancing like a star.  Not entirely out of place so i pay no special attention to this.  He however points to the stall and says okay go ahead.  She throws the stall open like and enters so happy go lucky and disappears for a minute. Im at the sink now washing my hands and preparing for a night out with my wife and as im checking myself out in the mirror....you know cause im danged handsome and i gots ta quality check...i see her come out.  I think to myself thats pretty quick for a girl, even one so young.  Her dad has the same idea and he asks "are you done?"


"No" she says like it's of no concern to anyone, "there's someone in there."


WHAAAAT! No Way! im thinkin to myself how was it so quiet if she bust in on somebody doing what goes down in the stalls.


At this point i stop a little, im interested and broke the number one rule of the mens room....i was staring.  
Her dad looks at the stall which still has the door thrown open for all to see, and says "what?"
The little girl says "i went in and there is somebody in there using the bathroom."


Im giggling a little bit now thinking that poor guy in the stall has gots to be fa-rea-king out about this girl just stepping in on him and about the look on his face when I see the DAD walk into the stall! To verify his daughters story!
Yes! the stall where some poor random dude was relaxing in his bastion of solitude when an impetulant little girl meanders in and out, followed closely by her DAD.
 He stops, finding that yes. There was "someone in there." Holds up his hand and says "sorry dude."  Then quietly as he entered he left the all too crowded stall with a shy smile and a wave...like its all good now.  He then decides only then though its probably a good idea to wait his turn for the stall.


So josh tells me this story. Then he stops dead and says. "That's him right there baby! That's him right there!" The stall victim is sitting at a booth behind us at the restaurant! He apparently was a BSU fan and had 3 long graying braids hanging down his back. So I turn to look at him and hear him say to his table mates.
"Well that could have gotten awkward real quick."
I don't know how that guy be living his life but that seemed pretty dang awkward to me!
just sayin.





Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What I came home to! I Love this Holiday!

 It was a huge chocolate candy box! With a heart shaped out of the candies.
 The card he had waiting for me! It was a talking card that was hilarious! He also had a card he hand made in his communications class. I still need a pic of that one to put up.
Valentines date outfit! Yay! for red!