Tuesday, March 1, 2011

How we started...

So this looks weird.
But true to the post title. This is how we started.
 Not how we met though.
 It was a disco ball that you hung from the rear view mirror for your car. Just a decoration that I had bought. Because I thought it was cute and funny and eye catching and all the things I ever wanted to be. It was all that and it didn't need any help doing it. So I bought it, I hung it and it broke. And then it rolled around on the car floor for a while. Until it got stuck under neath the gas pedal one day after I pulled in to the driveway at Joshes house for the first time. So I grabbed it and held it out. Just like the picture above. And Josh said.
 "What is it?"
 And I didn't know what to say it was. Because it had changed from what it had been. So I just said.
"A ball."
 And well... Who could argue with that? So then of course he was just like.
 Then he asked.
"What do you do with it?"
 So then right there I made up a game where you hold the ball in your palm. Let it roll down your arm and when it got to the crook of your elbow you snapped your elbow straight and it popped the ball in the air. If you could do all that and catch it. You won. So I say this is how we started. Because I found myself in a place where I saw a human being that I cared for. Sitting next to me. And I was petrified. So it was easy to look down and focus on the "Game" And mask my awkwardness with awesomeness... at disco ball popping. I was better than him for a while. It was prolly because I was so worried about nerding out. I had so much pain to hide that I knew I was eventually going to share with him. Which was scary and posed an almost unbearable gamble for me being open to rejection. Which just the thought of was already hurting. It was a nice activity to take my mind off my thoughts in my head. I was able to open up and get to know him. Laugh and joke around and try to sabotage his turn with the disco ball. We would play and talk for hours and just be with each other before there were ever any dates or parents to meet or before there was even an "us". And we were slowly able to grow to know each other and to become best friends. And that's how we got started. I think anyways. ;)

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